i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
