Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i think i have two assholes
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
