Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
