Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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