it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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