halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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