it wasn't lemon gatorade
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
