I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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