Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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