You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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