Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
farters have to be the big spoon...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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