i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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