I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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