I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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