honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
