..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
