i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
