Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
