i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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