rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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