do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
