This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
