So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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