He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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