Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
