How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
