oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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