all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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