Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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