two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
