Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
