You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
