what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Acid is not a monday night drug
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
