He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
