She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
