look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
