ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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