I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
