well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
