i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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