I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it glows. i had to have it.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
