You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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