Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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