dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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