Don't make out with my wife yet
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I want her autograph on my taint
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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