I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
