I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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