It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize