He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
