oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
