a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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