so let's talk penis.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
