There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
