You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
