haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
