if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
