So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
